previously on Dumbgeons and Dragons.
This is Lex.
Hi, I'm Lex.
Pleasure.
And I...
It's...
I think the pleasure is all mine.
Thank you for getting me out of prison.
I really wish you luck finding Donnie.
If I see him, I'll send word to you.
Like...
I guess this is goodbye?
I...
I guess it is.
Can I...
Can I, like, put my hands out for a hug?
Yeah, I want in on some of this hug action too.
Alright, wizards.
And I shout out...
Tell Arvich use protection.
You just see a very confused look on Leosin's face as you snap out...
And there is a flash.
And a rumble.
And an explosion.
And you are thrown hard against the side of a building.
Welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons.
We're a D&D 5th Edition Actual Play Podcast and I'm your Dungeon Master Russ More and
with me today is Tom Laird.
Hey, that's me.
I'm playing Flint Firebeard today.
And Amy More.
That is me.
I'm playing Thea Amastasia.
And Carla Maxted.
That is me.
I'm playing TBD.
So many TBDs with this, Carla.
I know.
It's like every third episode it's a TBD.
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And now, fuck it.
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It's very breathy.
Fuck it.
As we race towards the expansive city of Calumport, the oldest continuous settled
human city in Faerun, over the shining sea we see the largest traffic of ships and freighters
that we've ever seen, all traveling with extraordinary precision through two large seawalls.
We launch up and over the three coastal wards and there are hundreds of merchant ships
loading and unloading goods from not just around Faerun, but all across the world.
Calumport, among other things, is a place of vast trade of spices, alchemical supplies,
gems, and most importantly, magic items.
Calumport, the city of glory, is a town that revolves around the abundance of magic
items, both common every day and, for the right price, items you can't find
anywhere else.
We see the Kalashite Navy preparing the fleet and recruiting various locals.
Some 140,000 people walk the streets of Calumport and as we soar above its streets
we see the city's gorgeous architecture of tall arches, squat domes, and slender
minarets reaching high into the hot, clear sky.
The scene we saw was from yesterday.
We see a flash in the merchant ward and runes appear in the sand and Flint and Thea,
dressed in her khaki shorts, tank top, and gossamer cape.
Flint in his active sandals, Tommy Bahama Hawaiian shirt, and big shorts, not cargo shorts.
Just big.
appear in the middle of the merchant ward.
And as the light from the runes fades and explosions sounds off beside them
and they are thrown into the wall of a nearby building.
Rushing all around them are the people of Calumport, being chased by an undead army.
What the fuck is going on here?
Jesus, didn't we just leave an undead army someplace else?
What is happening?
Oh, my cape is ripped.
Looks like a good time for you to get that amulet.
We're going to be needing it here.
You are being rushed by a group of undead soldiers, some carrying swords and shields,
the others carrying arrows, locking them behind them.
How far away from us are they, Russ?
Like 15 feet from you, the soldiers with shields and swords.
The archers are a little bit further behind.
Alright, I guess I will pull out my dwarven thrower
and throw it at one of the guys with one of the bows.
Alright, roll to hit.
I'm aiming to like knock the bow out of his hands.
To 23.
That will hit.
Describe to me what it looks like when you hit through this onslaught.
I throw the thrower and it zings past the first couple of dudes that are running towards us
and yeah, kind of smashes into the guy's left hand
as he's drawing it back his bow with his right hand
and knocks the bow out of his hands.
Perfect.
The group rushing towards you kind of scatters.
The one cocking the bow, it goes wide and breaks the bow
and then it rushes back to you.
What do you do?
I immediately cast Eldritch Blast.
13?
Yeah.
Oh, okay, cool.
And I hit a beam of crackling blue energy streaks towards
that hit the chest of the three, any archers.
I'm aiming for the archers.
So you're all aiming for archers, cool.
Wait, sorry, how many are there?
A lot.
Okay, yeah, aiming for archers.
Okay, yeah, so hammer zips by,
the crackling energy shoots over top of the soldiers
with swords directly in front of you
and goes towards the archers behind.
The soldiers in front rush towards you
and swing with their blades down on top of you.
That's going to be a 25 against Flint and a 22 against Thea.
What is my armor class now?
You're in a Hawaiian shirt, man.
Exactly, so what's my armor class now?
Whatever your, it's like 10 plus your dex.
Okay.
Oh, I have to change my armor class too.
Well, yours is an Enchant Self, right?
Oh, yeah, so I saw it.
Where as Flint thought he was going on vacation.
They rush towards you with their swords drawn
and as they raise them, a figure exits a door behind you.
Who exits and what happens?
Well, you probably don't notice,
but from behind you a woman steps out.
She has dark skin, short dark hair.
She's dressed like everyone else around
in that she's wearing sort of loose linen pants.
They're of a very fine quality though
and a red tunic with gold embroidery all over it.
She is human, but maybe not quite.
There's something a little bit unusual
just about the way her features sit,
but you're busy.
You probably don't notice any of that.
What you do notice is this huge wave of divine energy
that emanates from where she stands.
She steps out and this wave crushes into these undead
and sends them sprawling back into the street.
You have a moment of reprieve.
I whip my head back to see.
Yeah, I willow.
I whip my hair back and forth
and then I look over to see who's there.
You should quickly follow me.
Flint, Fia, come with me.
Oh, okay. Yep. Yep. Coming.
Oh, all right.
So you rush into the building?
Yeah.
Or wherever she goes.
Yeah, I'm going to get them into this building
and then I've already sussed out an amazing escape route.
That's where we're going to go.
Okay.
Are you going to like a hideout?
Are you going to a known place to you?
Where do you want to go?
I guess how overrun is the city?
Like totes?
Totes overrun, would you say?
Yeah, the camera zooms up and out
as you run into this building
and the city is completely overrun.
Walls are being climbed over.
Barricades are being knocked down.
The city guard is being completely overrun
and you see undead sprawling for miles.
Well, let's at least get them into this building,
into an interior area away from the undead
so we can...
I mean, they just appeared.
It's poor folks.
Flint might want to change his outfit.
I do assume you did put your armor in my bag of holding.
You head into this building
being led by this woman
and she pops a door in the floor.
It looked like stone.
It was partially covered with sand
and there are steps that descend into the earth.
Quickly, quickly, come with me.
Should we have our weapons ready?
What can we expect down here?
We'll be safe for a few minutes.
You rush down
and she closes the door behind you.
You hear the door blast open
from up in the main room
where you just left.
Footsteps running around
and then running back out
and screaming out in the streets.
You're now down in an underground tunnel system
lit by torches
sparsely placed all the way down.
Looking at it, it looks like a labyrinth
but this woman begins to lead you down
a specific path.
She knows exactly where she's going.
I stop and I grab her by the arm.
Gently, I'm not like,
and I'm like,
thank you.
Who are you?
Oh, Thea, welcome.
I am Yenbl.
I believe, I believe my friend Leosin
said to look for me.
Yes, oh my gosh.
Well, I'm really glad you found us first.
Yeah, I mean, what are the odds?
That was super quick.
I've been waiting for you.
I wanted to welcome you to this
beautiful, most wonderful city
in the whole world and instead
you come to this.
It is, the city is under attack.
There is an undead lich.
It is, it is, um,
not how I,
not how I wanted to welcome you to my city.
Undead lich, hey?
Cool.
All right.
How long has this been going on for?
Just since yesterday.
There is, um,
there are undead armies, you saw.
Um,
they are the armies of the twisted ruin.
They are, are led by a council
and there is a lich, Shangalar,
and he lives in a floating fortress
above the marching mountains and I,
I've spent some time there but
they, they just took over the city yesterday.
I, I was hoping to help you
on your mission.
You are looking for something specific, yes?
Yeah, we're, we're in,
we're hunting down that amulet of wonder.
Any, any leads?
Well, um, yes.
Actually, um, our-
I mean, that's great news.
What are the odds?
It, it's, it's not
the best news I could give you because
it is with-
It rarely is in our experience.
It is with Shangalar.
Oh, that is real crappy.
The Lich, whose undead army has overtaken the city
and he, he's very powerful.
Great.
All right, well this means two birds one stone.
We help your city
and we get the amulet back.
Well, that's true.
What means two birds one stone?
We only have to do one thing
but we get two really good things out of it.
Oh, you have to, uh,
common is my sixth language,
so I do not always, uh, find the words.
Stop me any time I'm talking too much gibberish.
I will, I will.
Thank you, Thea.
I have, I have a friend
or a man I know, Manix Fallenleaf.
He, he has connections with the Silpasha
who, who sort of is, uh, the government,
the government of Kalimport and, and
he knows where there is a portal
leading to this flying fortress.
It is a lot to ask
when you've just arrived moments ago, but
we go where the amulet is.
Yeah, we came here to get a job done, so
now we just have two to do.
Also, we're so friggin' tired
of all this undead bullshit.
There is a lot of undead where you come from?
We've, we've had some run-ins.
Just really recently, whole city.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
They are...disgusting.
Yeah, they're not the best.
Um, I'm, I'm gonna keep leading them.
I assumed this whole time once we started talking
we probably, like, resumed our brisk walking
through this tunnel system that I know so well.
So well.
Yes.
Um, you, you lead them for quite a ways through,
like, the, Flintia, you realize that this entire
tunnel system could sprawl the entire
city of Kalimport itself.
After a while,
some good 10 or 15 minutes
of traveling through this underground tunnel system,
passing various stairs that go back up,
um, hearing explosions and screams
rumbling down through the ground itself,
you come to a staircase
where Yen Bull motions that
you are to go up.
Please follow me.
You head up and Yen Bull opens up another
trap door and it opens
into a,
a dimly lit room.
The calls
of, of the army outside
is faint. Um,
you can't exactly
hear, not, not as loud
as where you were, so it leads you to believe that you might be further
away in this part of the city from where
the main fighting was happening.
And it's a very shadowy room.
Only a few candles in it.
And as the three of you step up and into this room,
the trap door closes behind you.
You hear a very soft voice
come from a shadowy corner
that says,
Yen Bull, it's been some time.
What can I do for you?
Hello, forgive me for intruding.
I have my friends with me.
And we thought,
we thought you might be able to get us to the floating fortress.
Ah, you wish to
take on
this problem head on?
Well, I do not wish to.
It, I cannot have
my beautiful city overtaken by undead.
Also, Flint needs
an amulet.
We must, we must try and find it.
Of course,
Shangalar has a hold on the city.
You're safe here to rest
and do your
friends need armaments,
weapons, shields?
Well, I'm all armored up. This is just a glamour, but
Flint, you?
Yeah, I mean, I should probably
throw a little something on that's better than this
Tommy Bahama shirt.
Well, I mean, your shirt and pants are really big and baggy though. You could probably
wear them over whatever armor they have.
If I may, you do look like a
tourist. It's
it's a little embarrassing.
Did you, did you come for
the triple or did you come for the beaches?
Well, battle, but I thought beaches would be
a nice, like, side trip.
Yes. Well, and sometimes we go for the triple B, the battles,
beaches, and bitches, but.
Oh. Funny friends
is what you've brought me. Good.
They've come from very far away. I can tell.
I can tell.
Get your preparations done. I will
see what I can find.
He stands up and comes out of the shadows
and the person you see
before you is a
a two foot four halfling.
Very small.
Adorned in a black and white
robe. And he heads off
into another room and you see him pull a book
off of a shelf and begin reading and writing
out of this journal that he's
consulting. What you reading there, friend?
I am trying to find you a way
in.
Excellent. Anything we can help with?
How exactly do we get to a
flying fortress?
There is rumors of a portal
to get you into
Shangalar's fortress.
We would need to find you a way out of
the city, though, which at the time
appears to be somewhat difficult.
I mean, we're pretty
good at sneaking, if that helps.
We can be sneaky. We can sometimes like
pass without a trace.
Would it help if we only needed a one way ticket?
Because, I mean, we've crashed giant air
castles. Oh, that's true. We have done that.
This is not our first in the air
castle rodeo.
Just if that helps at all.
Give me a moment
and I shall
find you a rodeo
out of here.
That's not really how you use that, but
okay, that sounds good. I know.
You have crashed
an ice fortress.
It is no wonder you are so famous,
even here in Kalimshamn.
Oh, you're too kind. I honestly didn't think you guys
would know about us at all.
Well, I don't know
if all people know,
but my friend Leosan, he
has told me much of you.
Oh, has he?
He has. I worry for him
sometimes.
His hair probably is a lot grayer than when you
last saw him.
Oh, I have never seen him. Leosan and I,
when we were very young children, were part
of an exchange of
writing friends. I don't know. Oh, pen pals.
Yes. So we have been writing to each other
for all of our lives.
That's really sweet. So when he told me he was sending
friends here to the most wonderful city in the world,
I was delighted to make my way back here
and be your guide.
Where did you come from? Well, I am from here, but I have traveled
all over the world. Well,
all over my world, all over Kalimshamn.
The spider swamps,
the marching mountains, I have been
all over this whole country and met many, many
interesting people. Now when you say spider
swamps, is that a literal name or
something else going on there?
No, it is not one of those
ironical names. It is
a great ghastly swamp with many, many
spiders and other very large
creatures. It is not
a place for your tourist clothes.
Now why did you go to the spider swamps?
Well, I wanted to see
the whole world and
the spider swamps are part of the whole world.
It just seems like a place you could have taken someone's word about.
I say we should crash the big
in the sky castle. Oh, into the spider swamps.
Thanks for the idea, Yenvel.
Mannix, you hear
small footsteps behind you.
He's holding a very large book in his hands
and says, I can
get you to
the next city.
We must move quickly though.
Yes, what do you need from us?
Look to Flint.
Yeah.
Did we ever figure out that armor situation?
Did you really not bring your armor?
I mean, I assume it's in her bag. I really thought it would be.
I rummage around inside and I'm like,
this adventure is going to take a very different turn, if not.
I mean, that's fine if that's the way you want to play it.
I start to haul out his armor.
These. Pull them from the bag.
And Flint's putting everything back on.
Mannix is standing there
waiting.
Dressing you with his eyes.
Last piece,
I put the headband of intellect on.
All right, good to go.
Mannix comes over as you're
slipping it on and begins looking at it and says,
where did you find this piece?
From a shit bird.
Funny friends you have brought me.
Funny friends.
I mean, it was really from a shit bird.
Unfortunate.
Mannix, aren't they fascinating?
Oh, they are something, aren't they?
Well, if we are ready, shit bird,
we shall go.
Oh my.
Mannix goes over and grabs a staff
off the wall that is not much taller than he
and stomps it on the ground and the trapdoor
opens back up and says,
lead them to the edge of the city. I will be behind you.
And I go down into the tunnels.
We follow.
Oh yeah, I definitely follow.
I'm just going to chill here.
The three of you head down
and just kind of checking over your shoulder,
you see Mannix come down the stairs behind you.
Any light that was coming down into
the stairs, you hear the door close
and the light disappears.
And then he begins moving his hands
and softly speaking to himself.
And above, you hear
the sound of battle
come back in an instant.
Like it was right outside the door and he dropped
a curtain that allowed the sound to come
rushing in and you hear it crash
into the building above and then you see
a black aura
filled light come from his hands
and it coats the staircase
and then the sound softens again.
Hey, we're in the middle.
Good to see you. Hopefully you're enjoying this huge
episode. Is this the new
arc that you promised people, Russ? Yeah, baby.
It's so big. So big. So exciting.
So good. I'm just so very happy about it.
You know what? It's really untoward
of you to talk about your big arc like that.
You're making everyone feel very uncomfortable.
You're right. Dick jokes. You're welcome. You're welcome.
Bonus interlude. Dick jokes.
Check the box on your bingo there. Yep.
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Your house. If you're instantly self-isolating.
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Okay, bye. Bye. Bye.
After you see that display,
Mannix almost glides
forward to come behind you
and yells up to Yen Bull,
Remember to the edge of the city.
Move quickly though.
The four of you dodge down tunnels
and pass by
some stairwells that go deeper
but also some caverns
that go deeper. And you hear sound
and soft light coming up from below.
Almost a
mixture of a
jovial sound and one
that is like a full on bar brawl.
Like those two just kind of mash together.
Sounds like
there's a party down there.
Don't go down there.
Yeah, we don't have time for that, do we?
No. Do we?
No. You might not come back from down there.
Sounds like quite the party.
It takes you an hour.
Some of the tunnel
is beginning to cave in in areas like
not completely, but you see movement within
the tunnel as explosions are going up above.
And you make it to the edge
of Calumport.
And you exit further from
where a massive wall has been erected.
And you see just
swarms of undead crashing into
and climbing up over.
And ahead of you, you see a
boat waiting
on the edge of
the coast. This looks like a small river
boat. It's crashing up against the shore.
And Mannix yells up and says,
I will take you up the river to Kelta.
I will be joining you because my home
is no longer there.
More of the Merrier.
Make a break for it?
The four of you begin to run towards the boat.
You look behind you
and
the sounds of wings
come up and out of the mass that is surrounding
the city and
giant, zombified
vulture-like birds
come flying up and they begin
to soar around the city
and make a stealth
check, everybody. At disadvantage because
you're in kind of an open area.
Okay, good. I rolled even lower than my 10.
First one was a 19. Oh, wow.
How about an 8? Second was a 25, so we'll go 19.
How about a 6?
Both Yenbul and Thea are yelling,
You're not going to get us!
She's on the way to the boat.
Two of the birds, if that's what you want to call them,
catch sight of you and
begin diving down towards you as you're
running for the ship. What do you do?
I will turn
and cast.
How big are these birds?
The closer they get, the bigger they get.
These things are
they look like vultures, but they're like the size
of a pterodactyl.
Wonderful. Wingspan of about
25 to 30 feet. Alright, I'm going to
call lightning upon them.
I stop running for a moment
and my feet kind of like
skid stop in the sand.
I put my hands out and a crackle of energy
comes from them and then a storm cloud
appears over top of these two
bird things in the sky.
A bolt of lightning flashes down from that cloud
and each creature within five feet of that point,
which I'm making
over top one of the birds, I guess.
Must make a dexterity saving throw.
That's going to be a 13 and an 18.
The 18 will save? The 13 will not?
Is there stormy conditions
by any chance or is it like
a bright sunny day? Just curious. No reason why.
No, it's pretty clear
hot sunny day.
Then
I will not get an extra one D10.
That's fine, whatever.
He's not, sorry. I get to roll
five D10
and the one that's saved will take half.
That is 35
lightning damage.
Lightning crashes down through these
birds, these undead creatures.
The one that takes the full damage, like a wing
gets like blown off and it spirals down
to the sand and the other
takes a huge hit and you see it kind of
smoldering but still flies towards you and Manix
says get to the boat.
Yeah, let's hustle.
The three of you run and you sense that Manix
turns and is standing
almost like playing chicken with this thing.
You see it begin to
careen down towards Manix.
I pull out a necklace from in my shirt
and start rubbing it and
sort of close my eyes and speak to Ithgara
and spirits come out to
protect us.
They look angelic.
So all of my friends are unaffected
by this but the bird's speed
is halved and then when
it enters the area for the first time, which I assume
it probably will soon, it needs to make a wisdom
saving throw.
So it's like an area around each person?
Yeah, 15 feet.
We'll say the bird keeps going
speed halved.
Almost as
so you rub an amulet, is it obvious that you're doing
something to the people around you?
Perhaps, but I mean these like
little angelic creatures come out to protect us
and hopefully see that?
Flint and Thea make a perception check at disadvantage
not to see the spirit things but to see if
you see the cast.
I roll a 9 and a 10, but then I have
plus 9 so 18.
My perception is not great so that's a 15 on the first one
and a 7 on the second.
Flint blinked again. He was getting ready to throw his thing.
So Thea, I think you see kind of
I don't know if you put two and two together
but you see... That's a spellcaster, I think I might.
Maybe. Yen Bull stop
and reach for an amulet and then
you're surrounded by these spirit
beings and you see
Mannix also and this bird begins to slow down
and as it gets near, two things happen.
One, it has to make a saving throw for your
spirit thing. Yes?
Sorry what kind of saving throw was it?
It's going to be 19.
Jesus, fucking smart bird.
Rolled really well. So nothing happens?
No, so it will take half as much damage
which is 13 so it'll take
6 damage. What type of damage is it?
Radiant damage. So as the bird enters
this spirit's sphere
you see its beak and its head begin
to singe and as it gets close to
Mannix, Mannix raises its hands
and in an instant it turns, just like
right angle turns away from Mannix
and begins to soar up into the sky
and lets out this shriek, this hideous
unbearable shriek and then
begins to like ash
away and fall back to the ground
as it's going up into the sky almost like it's burning
away but there's no flames
it's just dissolving and pouring down
onto the sand around you. Mannix turns
and says, what are you waiting for?
I'm already in the boat.
I said I run to the boat. You get to the boat
and you see and hear the city
almost collapsing behind you
screams coming, boats are
rushing out of the port into
into the open sea
you climb aboard the boat, Mannix gets behind
the wheel and says, I can't see over the
steering wheel. We need to go
over to the river.
Why would you get behind the wheel, Mannix?
Nobody else was.
Flint, you want to drive?
I mean I'm not too much taller.
Alright, I'm into this, let's get on here. Everyone hold onto
your asses and I like start to press
like buttons or how does it
It's just a big wheel.
How do I make it go?
Mannix unties a rope
which signals Flint and Yen Bull to do the same
to another couple ropes and the
in the waves the boat kind of comes free
and
as if by some
magic propulsion you begin to move towards
the river. The sound
of battle fading behind you
as you enter the open mouth of the Calumport
River. And if anyone was to look
at me right now as I sort of watch my beloved
city under attack
my eyes are sort of glowing a strange
color as I as I fight back
tears.
I don't look right at you because like you know
you're having an emotional moment but I put my hand
on your shoulder and give you a squeeze.
And as I do that
I whisper a little
a little something and I take a short read
from my pocket and I
kind of break it up in my hand and I've cast
water breathing on all of us
that will last for 24 hours.
Just as a precaution we are
in the water. Is it a concentration?
It is not. Cool beans. Yep it's
just kind of it's just doing it it's a
transmutation spell y'all.
Does anybody want to do anything specific before
we flash forward in scene? I would like to learn a
sea song of some kind.
Like a shanty?
Have you heard the tale of Flamikins?
Flamikins!
Flamikins! That is exclusive to
patrons over our five dollar and up tier.
So much stuff over there. Oh god too much
stuff. I drive
this self-propelling boat propelling
guys. Propelling!
Okay well I'll tell you during your travel up the
river aside from some bumpy rapids the
further up you go nothing
major of incident
occurs so if there's any.
Sorry are we on a river or in the open sea?
You're on a river. You went to the mouth of a river
so now you're going up a river. Okay.
So you're going inland now.
See it does unnecessary things
like licks her finger to feel which way the wind is blowing.
Mannix walks over to Flint
and says
why do you require the amulet?
Well
it's a bit of a long story but basically
I have a
that's the best way to put this.
I have the soul of a dragonborn
inside me. And I yell over my shoulder and not like
you know I've got the heart of a lion kind of thing not like that.
Yeah thanks no like
legitimately his soul is also occupying
my body. Interesting.
And I kind of pull down like my
plate and tunic and everything and show him the
scales going up the neck. Mannix is on tiptoes
reaching up examining. Disrobing you.
Not disrobing you but examining what you're trying
to show him. Says this is very
interesting I've seen soulbound creatures before
but none that have taken
a physical iteration. Where did you come by this
ailment? Oh jeez it was
the hell was the name of that place?
Thea what was the name of that place we went to?
It was in another dimension.
It was in the library of the dead.
Okay.
In another dimension.
Interesting.
I'm going to have to read up on this.
He turns around and sits back down and opens the
one book that he had brought with him.
Is that the book of everything?
Most things. Yes.
Can I, can I look at it?
I love books.
In a previous life I was a scribe. Of course.
He hands you the book.
I hand Yenbo the wheel.
Okay. Good test.
And I start to
flip through the pages what do I see? They are empty.
Is it like an invisible ink?
Do I have to like breathe on it?
Mannix grabs it back and says no.
See you. Writings.
Why can you see them and I can't? What kind of
enchantment is this?
I wanted to see if you were
worthy. Oh shit.
Of the information in these tomes. Okay.
Brutal. Alright. Only saved the world a few times but that's fine.
Only if nothing but
impure intentions but whatever. I mean you didn't save it with
your reading abilities. Guess not. Guess I shoulda.
It's only slightly hurtful.
Mannix but it's fine.
I apologize. I will see if we can rectify that
by the end of this adventure
that we're on. Can I see the writing in the book?
Oh sorry. Oh no yes.
Sure.
Well I'm not sure you can see it
but I assume Thea takes the wheel back.
I'll take the wheel back. I mean I was just creeping over her
shoulder. Slightly disheartened. Not over her shoulder cause she's much taller than me.
I'm only 5'6 but like around the edge.
As you are flipping through
you see a lot of blank pages
but as she's flipping through you see like patches of things
show up. Are you all like
oh no I don't see anything either.
Don't make me feel bad.
Welcome to the club Thea.
Can't read that book club.
Russ hates it when you try to read a book. I know.
Why we had to be illiterate in the last
episode.
Well there's a common underlying theme of just
fucking hate literature.
Are we there yet?
Yeah after
a couple days travel upriver. I think that's the only
time in the history of the world that's ever worked.
Are we there yet? Yes actually. Yeah fuck yeah.
After a couple days travel
you see along the side of the river
another city come into view.
It's much smaller
than Calumport was.
Still large but much smaller than the vast
expanse that is Calumport.
You don't really know where the undead came from but this one looks
this city looks to be untouched by
any armies at all.
You pull up to
a riverside dock.
Not large ships here
not large boats here.
Pull up and tie off and you enter
you follow behind Mannix
and Mannix leads you through
the streets of this town
that he referred to as Kel-Tar.
Do you do or say anything?
I think at least Thea walks quietly
and just kind of observes and is
ready for you know just in case an undead pops
out from behind somewhere.
Walking through up to the city and through
the streets you see there's primarily farmland
in and around this area.
Calumport
was surrounded by desert
it's a little more greenery the more you went up the river
and Mannix
leads you to what looks like
from the outside an old
worn down temple.
And begins
walking up the steps to the large
double doors.
He pulls them open
dirt and dust falls down
from the hinges
and from the frame around it
and ushers you inside.
I have not been to this temple before
I have been to Kel-Tar and sampled the figs
and the wine and the oils but I
have not seen this temple before.
This temple doesn't look like it's seen many people
recently either.
Mannix says this is the house
of the broken god.
Inside you will
find a portal that will take you
to marching mountains which will take you to the
entrance to Shangri-La's
floating pyramid fortress.
Okay this is it.
Yeah off to Shangri-La we go.
Let's do this.
Alright funny ones.
Mannix leads you up the center aisle of this temple
and pews are covered in
old fabrics. It really looks like nobody has used
this building in a long time.
The further in you go though
you see a single candle lit down at the end
of this aisle that you're walking down
and the closer you get the more the light
emanates and the closer to the light you get
the more the room looks new
and fresh and like
it's been kept up over the years.
Mannix
walks to the candle and grabs it
and says follow me.
He leads you down a flight of stairs
to an old
cellar and inside there are
runes on the wall.
Mannix walks over to them
and runs a hand along them and
although they look new under this light
that is being produced by
this candle, dust
falls from his hands you can hear it hit the ground
you can't see it but you can hear it
and the runes begin to glow as he runs his hand along them
and the stone wall
in the middle of them begins to glow
a soft blue swirling with black.
He says when you're ready
we shall step through.
Will you be joining us?
I am uncertain that the funny ones
will make it back without me.
And what about you Yenbul?
Oh I promised Leosen that I would
stay with you and help you in any way I could.
Alright no hard feelings though
if he didn't want to like come on this one way death trip or anything.
Yeah it's not our first one of these.
I have heard much about your adventures.
I have been to the Marching Mountains before
I have friends there although they are
elusive perhaps we will find them
before we need to take on
our greater enemy.
We're happy to be fighting alongside you.
Alright Manix Depressive let's go.
After you.
I'll go first. Alright Flint after you.
I go through.
Yenbul and then Flint
and then Thea and then Manix
behind step through and each of you
as you step through you step into a lush
green forest at the base of mountains that reach
up past the clouds in the sky.
As Manix steps through
there is the same portal with runes just illuminated
not on a wall
but just in space.
And as Manix steps through
the portal sucks behind
and it closes.
You look around and take in your surroundings
and as the clouds begin to move
and swirl around the tops of these mountains
there is a crack that comes through and a beam of light
from the sun comes down and hits your general area.
You look up and beyond the clouds
as they begin to part you see
a massive pyramid
floating high in the sky
above the mountains.
No biggie.
Is this like the one that you crashed?
Yours was more of a castle.
Much smaller.
The intro song Nowhere Land
is by Kavin MacLeod of incompetech.filmmusic.io
All other music and sound effects
can be found at epidemicsound.com
A huge thank you to our supporting producers
Christian Brown, Creighton's Raven
Devin Michaels, Gabriel Lynch
Jacob Madden, Joshua Dixon
Cat Waterflame, Skull King 20
and Stevie. To find out more how you can support
Dums and the Dragons, visit Patreon.com
slash dumb dragon cast. Thank you for listening.
Have a great week. We'll talk soon.
On your mission you are looking for something specific, yes?
Yeah, aren't we Flint?
I'm pretty sure we are. What are we looking for Flint?
You're the only reason we're here.
We are looking for the Amulet of Wonder.
Amulet of Wonder? Yeah, there we go.
I was like, it's a potion? Amulet? You're gonna die.
That's when you said amulet and I got really confused about
I was like, do I already have the amulet? Are you saying the power was with me?
All along. All along.
There's a lot of like glowing like bright blue, white spots everywhere.
Yeah.
Yeah, had to. There hasn't been a dick joke in a while.
Might as well make it dirty. Yeah, sorry I didn't give you that
opportunity until right now.
To make a dick joke? That's okay, I'll always find my in.
Amy needs to make her own opportunities for dick jokes. It's more satisfying that way.
Can you say it like, get to the chopper?
Get to the bow.
The further in you go though, you see a single candle
lit in, lit in the fuck.
Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Dumb Dragons production.